Jaw-dropping stupid questions asked during a job interview

“When does life begin?” They want answers like “conception” or “birth.” I tell them, “When the kids grow up and leave the damn house!”
– Lecherous Leroy

I didn’t have a chance to read your resume. Could please tell me a little about yourself?”
– Why Me ?

Question: If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? Answer: The one that would fall on you for asking such a stupid question!!!
– Timbert!

Before you start work with us, would you consider shaving off your moustache?

Question: If you were an animal what would you be? Answer: Any crepuscular animal would do well for me — a rabbit or a bat, perhaps.” (Crepuscular means most active during dawn and dusk, so you’ll get to show off your extensive vocab.)

Question: If you were a soup what would you be? Answer: “Probably the low-sodium chicken broth.” Fix the interviewer with a penetrating gaze — she won’t know whether you’re mocking her imbecilic question or are deadly serious.

A friend was asked in the interview, “Are you Jewish?” She replied, “None of your business, and I just got this job!”
– . . . and she did, too! –Bou Galoux

Even though there’s a Federal Law against Age Discimination, too, it never ceases to amaze me how HR finds way to pry your age out of you..”WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE FROM..” is one questions that keeps popping up!
– Sorry I’m Not 22 Anymore..Claire Voyant

How do you see yourself 3 to 5 years from now? Here is why it is dumb. No company will garantee you for five years, much less a career path. Answer: “I intend to be happy and productive five years from now, working at a job I love in a company that values my talents” or Answer: ” I hope to own the company”.

“Where will you be in 5 years?” Once I actually answered this one with “If I knew the future I wouldn’t be here. I’d be working with Dionne Warwick.”
– didn’t get the job

TRUE: If you’re working on a project, and it’s your wedding anniversary, your wife has made big plans, and your project has a problem, what would you do.
– Not work here!

“Seeing we’ve offered the job to someone else already, do you have any good ideas for our company?”
– Bite me, bert!

TRUE: Was asked “Do you have a Bachelor’s Degree?”, Reply:”I have my Masters”, response:”But do you have a Bachelor’s Degree??”
– Why_I_Want_To_Work_There?_Bert

Tell us everything about yourself …
– I started out as the sperm who won the race

“You understand that this interview is for a permanent position?” “Yes, I plan on living forever.”
– And I NEVER want to be promoted – Bert

Oh, change of date the party is tomorrow….what?!!!!

Party is tomorrow and you still have extra baggage, your stomach still tend to balloon after you suffer an attack of bloat from Premenstrual Symdrome or eating a BIG MEAL!!!! There are easy food and drinks abstaining steps to prevent the pooch!

24- hours to get rid of the pooch in your midsection

• First, prevent salty foods. But you must try to remove some of it because the body responds to salt by trying to make it less concentrated, so it holds on to water.
• Take in the right kind of fluid. Lots of water, the more you drink the better it gets. It wash out excess salt and water. Don’t deprive yourself with water. Try not to drink sodas first and other carbonated drinks, it will create bloating gas on your tummy.
• Eat a lot of veggies and fruits. Bananas, oranges, cucumber, squash, tomatoes, and watermelon. But some vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower (raw), corn, dried fruits can cause gas and bloating so don’t eat some yet if your preparing to fit on the dream dress tomorrow.
• Another hard to resist is to abstain from coffee and alcohol. This two can dehydrate you tendency is the tissue on your body hold water to balance the electrolytes. And you don’t want to look lean with a dry skin, Right?
• Breath…. breath…. breath better. When you breath keep your tummy taut. This allows air to your lungs withot stretching your stomach.
• Relax and chill out. Stress, let your body release the hormone called cortisol. In research it is found that the more cortisol in their blood it is most likely to have excess fat around the abdomen.
• Get some sleep. Take time to sleep. When you’re deprived adequate sleep, your body metabolism is hinder. People lack of sleep have increased levels of cortisol.

Cortisol- it is called “the stress hormone”. It is an important hormone in our body. Cortisol level is highest in the morning and lowest during night time. But anything excess can lead to negative effects. Try some relaxing online games and other stuff at zefrank.com